Band: 12 Followers Meteo Xavier

Howdy. I call myself Meteo Xavier. I am literally your Mom and your Dad COMBINED. I come from a long line of musical homunculi based in the far off regions of Cocytus, Florida, and I come here to plunder your cattle and stampede your women. I'm a multi-award winning paranormal gynecologist who started out playing drums for jazz legend Sid Vicious before his wife, the honorable Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Shemp Howard, took one look at my face and filed for bankruptcy to keep their accountant from murdering Jack the Ripper. I was once arrested in Wisconsin for being too sexy in the slow lane of the freeway. Last year, the Country Music Organization for Underprivileged Diamond Merchants recognized my efforts in breaking up animal prostitution rings in Vietnam with my bare teeth and awarded me the Silver for Chemistry in Gymnastics. I keep a lucky rabbit's foot where my head used to be on the shelf. Sonic the Hedgehog impregnated my girlfriend and billed me by the hour. I'm the kind of guy who NEVER uses Google for his questions online. When I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up to be a midget. I had a dream last night where I was in confessional with my priest. Just before I woke up, I found myself saying, "Better to be a man of the cloth than a woman on the rag." And when I woke up, my penis was gone. What does any of this have to do with my music? Simple - buy some of it or I will go ON like this - and on, and on, and on... you get the picture. Support this artist today so he won't have to hunt you down like an endangered bison and annoy what little life you had left until you're a quivering gelatin of basic existence. If you're unusually masochistic and find yourself saying, "I have no dignity and I couldn't get enough of this. Do you have more?" Absolutely! I am also an author under the name J.S. Lawhead and my novel "Vulgarity For the Masses" is basically 246 pages of this description. Check it out at www.jslawhead.com. Thank you and have a pleasant evening.

Website: http://www.meteoxavier.com

Location: >:D

Influences: Trent Reznor, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, Alvin Schwartz, Satoshi Kon, Hiroki Kikuta, Moby, Peter Gabriel, that song "Blue Monday", CUSCO, The Mars Volta, Adult Swim, Calvin and Hobbes, Jhonen Vasquez.

Year Established: π B.C.

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